In Spite of Me

Do you ever have a moment where God really puts you in your place?  I do.

Today was one of those days.  My husband was playing drums during worship, and it was the end of church.  They always do one closing song.  I was praying for my father in law, and giving thanks for all of the blessings.  The song said something about mountains, and this feeling just slammed in to me.  I wasn’t the only one who felt it either.  At exactly the same time, the worship leader reacted.

I have no idea what he was praying for.  We both tried to continue singing, neither one of us being very successful, but the congregation sang on.

It’s a surreal feeling when you aren’t the only one being bombarded by His love.  I didn’t know how to feel that both of us were being so affected at the same time, but I was certainly glad that He made us know that he was hearing our prayers.

I feel like the more willing I am to feeling His presence, the more I can.  Does that make sense?  When I put myself to the side and concentrate on His voice, I get better and better at hearing it.  I just have to work harder at hearing it.

Then this afternoon, I was listening to my daughters paint their nails.  My oldest was treating my youngest to birthday celebration nails.  My oldest has a birthday coming up, and wants everyone to be in on the festivities.

My little is pretty fidgety, as most 3 year olds are.  Sweetie was being so patient, adding layer after layer of her own nail polish, waiting to start her nails until Munchkin’s were done.

I was sitting in the other room, reading, trying to decompress from the last month.

And all of a sudden, I hear Sweetie, cheering on her sister for sitting so well, even though she knows its hard for Munchkin to sit still for very long.

There was that voice again.

It was letting me know that in spite of me, and trying to make myself responsible for everything and everyone, He’s got this.  He’s filling in the holes I leave behind in my imperfection.  And He’s there with them as much as He is with me. 

In spite of me, He will succeed.  Not because of me.  So maybe I can let go of some of that pressure, and realize that I just have to show up and listen.

I don’t know what your day was like, or what challenges you are facing.  They are probably much larger than mine.  That’s okay.  He’s bigger than all of it.  He’s got this, and He’s got you.

Heavenly Father, I thank you for all of the blessings in my life.  I thank you for my littles, and the wisdom they bring to each and every day.  I thank you for the challenges they bring, that help me to grow as a parent, even on the days where I am fighting the opportunity to grow.  I thank you that even though I’m stubborn, you are even more so.  I lift up all of those that are struggling to still their hearts and hear that small, still voice that is waiting for them.  I pray that they would hear Your voice, and feel your love like never before.  I faith I pray.  Amen.

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