Giftings

I remember when I was a little girl, I’d get these feelings about things. No one could really explain them. My parents just kind of marvelled at the things I’d know. Especially the ones that really had no explanation.

My parents used to have friends over a lot. One night, one of the couples left after having a fight. All I really remember is that they had just gotten the cutest little black and brown puppy. He was so cute and fuzzy. He reminded me of a teddy bear.

They ended up getting in to an accident. No one was seriously hurt, thankfully. It could have been awful.

It happened late at night on a dirt road with lots of twists and turns in it.

Their puppy escaped the vehicle after the accident and got lost though. And for some reason, I really needed to go find the puppy. I made my parents drive out to the accident site. They searched and searched, calling for him. I remember going off in a different direction than they did. I don’t know why. And I found the puppy. He was absolutely silent, hiding in the bushes.

There was no reason that I headed the way I did. I think I was about 8 years old and I just had this feeling.

When I was a preteen, I would usually know in the morning if I was going to get a call to babysit. There was no rhyme or reason to how I knew, I just did. I would guess that I was right at least 9 out of 10 times.

It was so much easier to just accept that I knew things when I was little. I didn’t feel weird or awkward. I just felt. And I knew that I could trust that feeling.

As I got older, people began to question my instinct, and then so did I. I began to dismiss those feelings. I mean really, I wasn’t special. I was just plain old, average, me.

As I began to talk to God more, He began to talk more to me. I began to get those “feelings” again. It was a little scary.

I started to make things. Mostly gift baskets. Once in a while, I’d be led to make a sign, or blanket. Something just a little bit more. And I wouldn’t necessarily know who it was for. I just knew that someone, some day, was going to need it.

My husband laughed at me. Not in a bad way. More in amazement. He’d ask what I was making, and who it was for. And most times, I’d reply with, “I don’t know yet. I just needed to make it.”

One day, I would just know that someone would need to know that they were thought of and loved. And I relied on His voice to let me know who. I always left these items where they would get to the recipient without me doing it in person. The point has never been to have people think it was from me. I am just the delivery person.

Sometimes, that’s how prayer works. God waits for us to listen to that little voice inside. And that little voice inside is giving us the chance to help Him to answer a prayer in a specific way.

I once made up a basket for a woman I didn’t know very well. I felt that she really needed to have someone reach out to her. I left it at our church with the secretary.

The day she received it, she had just gotten in to a car accident. She happened to come in to talk to the pastor, and here, in the foyer, was the basket with her name on it. She said that she had felt really helpless, not really sure what to do, or how she was going to make it through the week. And then she got an answer to her prayers. God saw her, and was thinking about her.

My husband has always accepted my perceptiveness. He wouldn’t always see what I saw, but after awhile, he began to see that I was usually right.

You see, my gift is empathy and healing. Well, it’s sort of a gift. Sometimes, it feels really good to be able to reach out to someone who can’t or won’t ask for help. I love helping them.

Sometimes, it hurts. My gift has also led me to reach out to people who are hurting. I have been the first person to notice marital problems with our friends on more than one occasion. The kind of problems that lead to divorce. And it’s hard to reach out to someone with comfort when you have no way to explain how you know they are in pain.

My gift also means I can feel a person’s pain. Even when I don’t want to. I don’t actually take on their pain, it’s just something I can sense.

This means that on most days, I avoid going out in public. I avoid certain people because I can’t block out the feelings. And I’ve discovered that as much as I want to help them, I can’t heal them. They have to decide to do that themselves.

Setting boundaries has become fantastically important in my life.

Listening to my body when it tells me I have to recharge. I have to take the time to just be still. And I’ve learned that its okay to sit and “do nothing.” The nothing that I am doing is allowing my mind and body to recuperate so that I can be the best I can for the ones I love.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I believe we have all been designed by a loving God. That we each have spiritual gifts that we have been given. And even if we don’t understand them, or even appreciate them, it is a privilege to use them.

You see, God answers prayers through the ordinary, mundane, average people like you and me. He answers your prayers in the same way.

Friends, He is waiting to show you how He can answer your prayers. He is waiting for you to hear that still, small voice. To really hear it. Whether you are asking for help, or receiving it, you are still a part of His plan. If you’re asking for help, there is most likely someone praying to feel needed. So pour your heart out to Him. Hear Him answer you back. And please, please, please, know that at times, we all ask for help. And at other times, we give it. And there is bravery in both.

I pray that tonight, you would be confident that you are not alone. That you would know, deep down know, that He is there. He is waiting. And that there is nothing you could ever do to diminish His love for you. He desires a relationship with you. A relationship that has no restrictions. It isn’t based on your history, your shame, or your good works. He wants you for you. He designed you to need Him. And created you exactly as you are. And you are now, and will always be, enough. No matter what.

If you would like prayer, please leave a comment. I don’t need the details. He has those. I just need your name. I would be honored to lift you up in prayer.

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