I Am So Old


Okay, maybe I’m not that old. Some days, I just feel like I am.


We were invited out to celebrate New Years Eve at a local kids bible camp. We have become quite involved there the last few years and they were having a staff celebration.

We had taken our kids out, and as the roads were pretty bad, there wasn’t quite the turnout they had been expecting. I was one of 10 people over the age of 20. There were close to 60 that were under the age of 20.

The power had gone out due to trees falling on the power lines, so there were very few lights on in the hall, as everything, including the kitchen, was being powered by a generator.


I remember standing by the kitchen, talking to a leader when they were setting up the sound equipment.


And they had these strobe lights. LED lights, so they could be run without using too much power.


I commented that I must be getting old, because I was annoyed by the flashing lights in my eyes. They were setting up. They were testing equipment. They were flashing the lights. And I was grumpy about it all.


And I recalled being a kid and loving the lights. They meant something cool was going to happen. Special lights and equipment always meant something out of the ordinary was about to take place.

And then I just felt old and crotchety. My own Ebeneezer moment.


A few hours later, when we began worship, I felt my heart filling. I felt lightness in my body.


And as I looked around at all of these young, strobe light loving kids, I got it. Something out of the ordinary was about to happen.


I was there to be renewed. To feel His presence. To hear His voice saying that He has heard my prayers. He has answered them. And He will continue to.


I was blessed that night, getting to watch all of these teenagers so in love with Jesus. So in love.


He wanted me to remember when I was pursuing Him. How I can and will feel His presence so much better when I let go of my old, grumpy self and just love. By the end of worship, I had been moved to tears by His presence.

I sang louder than I have in such a long time. And without all of the stuff – the phones, the lights, the noise – I was able to tune in. I could concentrate on feeling Him, right there with me.

Friends, I don’t know what you’re experiencing today. I don’t know how the first few weeks of 2020 has felt like. I do know, without a shadow of a doubt, that God loves you so much. He wants you to know that He is here. Through the good, the bad, and the ugly moments, He is standing right beside you. And He will renew your spirit, if only you get out of His way. I know, because He renewed mine, through all the old and crotchety I felt that day.

I pray that we would be able to stop each and every day to connect with Him. Even if its just a few minutes to sit in silence and give thanks. Paul managed to give thanks from a jail cell, so I think most of us can manage to give thanks from our houses.

If you would like prayer, I would be honored to lift you up. I don’t need details, He has those. I just need a name. Let me stand in the gap for you, and prayer for His strength for you to get through this.

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