As I sit here, listening to the birds chirping outside, I am realizing how fast time really does go by. We aren’t meant to be a part of this world forever, but we are here for our own, uniquely beautiful mission.
I can’t honestly say that I’ve figured out exactly what my mission is. I am a Momma to 3 beautiful, healthy kids, so it’s pretty safe to say that at least part of my journey is to nourish their souls and help them to love God.
I homeschool them, so it’s pretty intense some days. I can’t help but think that part of His plan is to use my kids to refine me. And some days, I really do hate that part. It is so humbling to have to look into those little eyes and say that you aren’t perfect. But it is such a great lesson to them, that no matter what, there is someone there who is going to love them unconditionally, but who is indeed still a work in progress.
I remember when I was young wanting to do something so big. I wanted to cure cancer, or save the oceans. Then I decided I wanted to go into medicine and just help people. None of these dreams came true.
And that’s great. Weird how that happens, isn’t it?
Don’t get me wrong, all of those dreams are great things. We need a definitive cure for all cancers. Our oceans do need help. There are never enough nurses or doctors. And since none of those dreams came true, it made room for my dream of having a family.
It made room for me to get to know God. To learn that His plan is so much better than mine, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time. I’ve had a bumpy path to where I am now. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
In this last decade, I have met and married the man I love. I have changed careers. I have helped to build my husband’s business. We have had 4 pregnancies, and got to hold 3 of our children. I have gained family, and lost some of them too. I have watched my babies laugh their first laugh and take their first steps. I have gotten to teach my children and watch their eyes light up as they begin to understand concepts.
I have also lost someone I loved dearly to depression. I have buried several family members. I have fought hard for my marriage. I have mourned the loss of a baby before I even got to meet them. I’ve battled to forgive those that have wronged me, and to begin to pray for them.
And it has all flown by. I am excited to see what the future is bringing to us. And thankful for everything the last decades have taught us. It hasn’t been easy, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
You don’t necessarily realize it when it’s happening, but all the little beautiful moments become the most amazing memories. It isn’t the grand gestures that make the difference, it’s the little things.
Whatever is happening in your life right now, I encourage you to turn to Him. He really is a rock that you can cling to in times of trouble, and He deserves our praise when things go right. I want to remember to come to him not only when things go wrong, but also when they go right.
Heavenly Father, I thank you for walking beside us, no matter where we are. I am so grateful for the blessings you have bestowed on me, and that you have never required me to deserve them. That you would sacrifice your one and only child for us. Please help me to seek you in my everyday. Let all that I do be done in love and grace. In your name. Amen.